The Fight

I’ve been fighting exhaustion for a good three months now–an exhaustion so deep and so entrenched that one nap or one good night’s sleep isn’t going to take care of it.  On Tuesday night, Oliver fed at 10:00, 12:30, 2:00, 3:00, 4:30, 5:30 and 6:30.  I’m so tired in the middle of the night (and my nursing chair is so cold–it’s by a window) that I’m not even giving him the best feedings.  So, last night, I hit the computer again while nursing and gave him a really good 30 minute feeding at 10:30.  He slept until about 2:00 am, when I gave him another 30 minute feeding, which got him until 4:30.  From there on out he was cantankerous.

He’s declining feedings during the day, and so I think he’s got this whole feeding thing turned upside down.  I’m pretty sure we’re heading into a time when I’ll need to stay up with him for three nights or so holding him, but not nursing him (more often then every three hours) so that we can get his eating on the right schedule. 

You see, it’s affecting my parenting.  For the last four nights, our evening family activity has been…TV.  I don’t believe in kids watching TV.  There’s too much good information out there suggesting that TV at Kate’s age changes the way neuropathways are forming in her brain.  The one good thing that I can claim is this: Kate almost never gets TV during the days.

So to help address this situation,  I decided on January 1st to eat a raw diet for seven days. I was inspired by Paisley .  Now,I have to say that for two of those seven days, I woke up not feeling like I’d been hit by a semi.  In other words, I felt great normal.   I’ve walked away from my week of “raw” with a greater respect for the nutrition that our food holds.  And while I have no intention of becoming a vegan, I’m going to start giving those Wise Traditions people more of a hearing. 

But, bless it, I’m still tired.  NOTHING is getting accomplished around this house.  I’m not following much of a schedule.  And I’m going to need to start getting organized because I’m starting work again soon.   And there are things that must get done.  Like parenting.

I don’t know where I’m going next, but I’d appreciate it if you prayed for me.